Desires of the Heart

I read something today that I thought worth sharing...

At times God gives us desires he never intends to fulfill. There is only one desire he will always fulfill and that is the desire to be with him in eternity if we obey his commandments. Temporal desires are not always fulfilled even if they come from God. Many young men want to be priests and they are unsuitable or lack the opportunity. Many woman want to be mothers but are sterile. These frustrated desires are meant to make us humble and more trusting in God. Ultimately being with him in eternity is all that matters. Maybe it is the unfulfilled desires that require a tremendous amount of faith that will be the very thing that ushers us into eternity with God.

A tough but beautiful truth.

Book Reccomendation

I just finished reading the book Rediscovering Catholicism by Matthew Kelly. If you are looking for a book to help inspire you to more fully live out your Catholic faith in today's world I recommend this book. Maybe make a new years resolution to more fully embrace your faith and start by picking up this great book.

To All Brave Mothers

"We would like to pay homage to all brave mothers who dedicate themselves to their own family without reserve, who suffer in giving birth to their children and who are ready to make any effort, to face any sacrifice, in order to pass on to them the best of themselves... How hard they have to fight against difficulties and danger!  How frequently they are called to face genuine 'wolves' determined to snatch and scatter the flock!  And these heroic mothers do not always find support in their surroundings.  On the contrary, the cultural models frequently promoted and broadcast by the media do not encourage motherhood.  In the name of progress and modernity, the values of fidelity, chastity, sacrifice, in which a host of Christian wives and mothers have distinguished themselves, are presented as obsolete.  As a result, a woman who is determined to be consistent in her principles often feels deeply alone, alone in her love which she cannot betray, and to which she must remain faithful.  Her guiding principle is Christ, who has revealed the love which the Father bestows on us.  A woman who believes in Christ finds a powerful support precisely in this love that bears everything..."

-Pope John Paul II

On the beautification of St. Gianna Beretta Molla

The Cure for Writer's Block

In the past several weeks  I have occasionally sat down to "blog", but felt a strong case of writer's block.  I stare at my screen, blank-faced and defeated.  I feel annoyed for my lack of creativity and frustrated that the Holy Spirit is not inspiring me!  I love Defining Beauty, and I have been disappointed for feeling like I have nothing to say...

I am not a writer, though I obviously enjoy pretending.  I do remember however, some writing advice from a past English class.  "If you have writer's block, just start writing".  My teacher told us to start with a thought, a journal entry, or anything to help us get started.  If that still did not work, she suggested we start copying the line "I do not know what to write..." until something came up.  And most often, something eventually came up and I started to write.

Another area in life where I often get "writer's block" is prayer.  Sometimes I feel discouraged that God is not listening, or I simply get so busy that I do not make time for prayer.  I get in the habit of not praying, and suddenly, it is like I do not know where to start, and do not know what to pray about.  It is like meeting an old acquaintance for coffee, and falling into an awkward silence because we just realized that we hardly know each other anymore.  I fall into the trap of wondering whether God even wants to hear from me anymore!

I think that in this case, the best advice one could give would be to "just start praying".  Turn off the distractions and close the door.  Go to adoration.  Don't know what to say?  Use a prayer written by a saint, or somebody else.  Go to mass.  Say a rosary.  Read a spiritual book.  Just start praying!  It may feel as though you are starting small, but it is a starting point, and most often, we eventually start to pray...

Now, hopefully this post will be just the muse I need to help me fight my case of writer's block.

Merry Christmas

It has been quite some time since I have hit the blog screen. A bit of writers block and a lot of studying for grad school finals took control. A thought occurred to me on this beautiful Christmas morning that I thought I would share if anyone out there is still reading...

I love Advent! I love Christmas too of course but for some reason I really love advent. During some great spiritual direction on Christmas Eve I realized that I love Advent because it is a beautiful parallel for my own life. In my life God asks me to have a lot of patience. Patience seems to be a reoccurring theme in our relationship. I don't know about the rest of you but for me patience it not easy. We live in a culture of fast food and cell phones; a culture of convenience and instant gratification. If we want it we can usually get it with the click of a button or the plastic of a credit card. When it comes to the bigger things in life though, the things that are really important, we can't just order them up. If we want temporary happiness we can get it instantly but if we want lasting happiness we have to wait on the one who is the author and source of that joy. On the first Christmas, joy came to the world and from one little baby the rest of our fulfillment flowed. I long to be fulfilled and happy, not temporarily but forever. There are big questions in my life that remained unanswered. During Advent I am reminded that I can put those questions aside and fill my life with fading joy or I can embrace those questions and wait for the answers from the one who is the author of my soul and all its longings.

I love Advent because it calls me into deeper prayer and faith. In order to endure patiently we must pray for deep faith. Like the prophets of the Old Testament I must wait on the Lord. What joy they all must have felt at the moment of Christ's birth when all they had waited for had finally come!

JMJ

New Traditions

My husband and I are very fond of traditions, given our Catholic faith, which is so rich in them. We applied it to our courtship with weekly rituals, (Monday gift days, Wednesday communication, Friday date nights), and now are growing with family traditions. The holidays are such a beautiful opportunity to create family traditions, and with each year, we're building more and more.

I thought this article was great food for thought for every Catholic family. I think we'll be adding this tradition this year. Other new ones we're taking on this Advent is celebrating the feast days during this time. We are celebrating St. Nicholas's feast and had our little girl set out one of her boots outside her bedroom last night, and this morning, she had a little gift of some new hair clips inside. It wasn't anything pricy or opulent, but her face lit up with surprise and excitement when she saw that her boot had been filled while she slept.

Another neat tradition we've started is a Jesse tree. I drew the stump and our 2 year old made leaves by fingerpainting green leaves, and each day, we add some magazine clipping or draw something signifying a moment or person in salvation history. For example, Creation- stars and moon, Noah- a picture of a ship, Passover- a lamb, David-a harp, The Visitation-an angel, The Nativity- a picture of a newborn baby, etc... It's a great way to teach little ones the various stories that lead to Jesus birth, and the salvation of the world.

Just a few ideas to keep the focus on the real reason for the season!

May God bless you and your families this advent. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel!

Preparing for Advent

Just wanted to share that the Fisher Price Nativity Set is currently 50% off at Target!  I have been considering purchasing it for a while, and now that it is on sale, I do not think I will be able to resist.
 

Does anyone have any other recommendations for toys, books, games, activities ect. to teach toddlers and young children about advent and the true meaning of Christmas?

Saintly Wisdom

Nothing can bring greater happiness than doing God's will for the love of God.  

-Blessed Miguel Pro

Me-Time

For the past few years, my husband has been taking grad-school classes in the evening to earn his MBA.  This means that on 2 or 3 evenings a week he often leaves his full work-day to head straight to school, on occasion dropping in at home for a quick bite to eat.  Although this routine has been a challenge in many ways (especially since we've had a baby), I have also learned to see it as a blessing.

Although I love being with my husband, I am an introvert, and so I truly enjoy time to myself.  I do not always have to be relaxing during this "me" time-- no matter what I am doing, I relish in the quietness and peace that comes to me when I am alone.  Doing chores, groceries, folding laundry or catching up on work are all tasks that I am known to occupy myself with while my hubby is at school.

Once in awhile however, I love to indulge in a little special personal time.  My favorite solitary things to do are to exercise, stretch, shop online, write and read.  At the end of a really tough day, I might even pour myself a glass of wine, bake, or put in a DVD.  Having this time to myself always helps me feel at peace and rejuvenated.

I'm curious:  What are your favorite things to do when you have alone time?  How do you schedule time for yourself when things get busy?

Through His Little Eyes

I have often felt somewhat peeved by those who begin their celebration of Christmas too early.  Nowadays stores shelves are stocked with candy canes amidst back-to-school supplies, Santa costumes are on display next to jack-o-lanterns, and the radio starts its Christmas programming before thanksgiving weekend.  The main source of my frustration is that come December 26, everybody is so tired of carols and eggnog that Christmas trees are immediately put out for trash and the occasion is over.  Don't they realize that the Christmas season is weeks long?  For this reason, I try to hold off on Christmas-ing, and focus on preparations during advent...

Until this year, that is.  It is still early November and I have already broken all of my rules.  There is a Christmas CD in my car, and I have stopped to admire the decorated trees at the mall.  My pantry is stocked with red and green candies for holiday baking, and I have already checked off a couple of items on my gift shopping list.

What has caused my insanity?  I can put the blame entirely on the wonderful little person currently living under my roof.

Technically it is not his first Christmas.  Last year we dressed up our little 8-month old in festive pajamas and drove around so he could see the lighted homes in our neighborhood.  He learned how to unwrap gifts, and ate his first bite of honey-glazed ham.  Somehow though, it is very different this year.  And I can hardly wait for it all!

I cannot wait to teach him the words to the french carols I grew up with, and to sing happy birthday to Jesus.  I cannot wait to see him play with our nativity set and let him decorate some sugar cookies.  This year I can teach him about the individual decorations on our family's tree.  We can wish others a Merry Christmas together, and snuggle in our jammies by the fireplace.  I can wake him up on Christmas morning, give him a goody-filled stocking and share in his excitement-- the excitement I remember feeling as a child.  This year, I can experience Christmas through his eyes as he soaks in the love and joy that envelops the world during this season.  This year, the family traditions REALLY begin-- traditions that will hopefully continue for many more years.

So perhaps I am a little more anxious to get to December 25th than usual...  But with advent only 2 weeks away, can you honestly blame me?

Thoughts from an "old" lady

For the last few years I have been dreading turning 30. And I mean dreading. I would often tell people that on my thirtieth birthday I plan to stay in bed and cry, so don't bother me. I would get nervous to tell people that I was almost 30 because I am still single and felt that my life hadn't really started yet. I look very young so it was often very easy to avoid admitting my age. Also, I hear all these things people say about women turning 30...

- Your metabolism dies.

- Your fertility drastically takes a turn for the worse.

- Your hips spread.

- You lose your memory.

- Your hair starts to go grey.

and on and on and on

People make it sound like 30 is the end of life as you once knew it. Granted my metabolism has slowed and for the first time in my life I have hips. I am getting forgetful and have found a few grey hairs that were immediately pulled from my head. What was amazing to me though was that when I did turn 30 on October 24th, I didn't cry, frown, or even worry one bit. Instead one of my dearest friends through me a huge party and I celebrated life. I decided that as a present to myself I would buy some new clothes that make me feel especially beautiful and remind myself that 30 doesn't really matter. I decided that 30 would be an opportunity to start a new chapter in my life. I am giving myself permission to be beautiful. This whole first week of being 30 I have dressed up and allowed myself to be beautiful. This blog is called defining beauty and that is what I did for myself this week. I redefined for myself that I am beautiful. I am excited to be 30. Yes I do feel different but you know what, I feel better!

Note: I am the one in the middle in the picture above. You would never guess I am 30 right ;-)

I had it out with God today....

So I'm in one of those times in my life where God has an amazing plan for me, as He always does, but I just don't like His timing. No I'm not promoting this attitude -I'm just admitting that there are moments in my faith where I let myself get in the way of the joy God has for me at every moment.

Sunday's reading was all about humility and I have struggled recently with the idea I had of what humility was - I thought it was being humiliated. I thought if I prayed for it, God would "teach me a lesson." I didn't feel like learning any more lessons for right now. Then I read this meditation that really brought new insight -it said that humility was just knowing God was always in charge and when I get in the way I am blocking the Lord working. It's that idea, I must decrease and He must increase.

Ok so today's argument - I'm not pregnant - I've been trying since I got married last June, but nothing... The first doctor I went ran some simple blood tests - diabetes, cholesterol etc and didn't have much to say when everything came back normal. He told me "it just takes time for some women to get pregnant." And so what do you suggest I do while I wait? "Just calm down." REALLY! Thanks for that great advice!

I'd taken NFP classes in marriage prep, but hadn't paid much attention - my husband and I want 8 kids - I didn't care too much about avoiding pregnancy or spacing pregnancy. People began to mention that maybe I should return to the classes - even my parish Priest. I finally listen end. My husband and I switched to the Creighton model and within the first class they were talking about issues I knew I had. After the class I went right up to the teacher and told her what I thought was going on with me. For the first time someone really listened - and she even made the comment - "well if that's it, that's fixable." I almost cried right there. Just to be affirmed, just to have a glimpse of hope in this grey period of struggles.

The Creighton class led to a visit with a wonderful NFP doctor who immediately put me on vitamins and ordered real blood work - like LH/FSH levels, progesterone, estrogen, vitamin D levels. I had to do blood work 3 different days - that was last Friday, Thursday and this Monday. I did see the doctor about 6 weeks ago but I had to wait until this week to do the blood work. I've been waiting for this week - here it and now I have bruises on my arm. There is a sense of hope that now the doctor can fix my hormone levels, if they can be fixed.

While I should be really looking forward to the test results, I'm just at a point where I'm feeling fed-up with all the vitamins and sinus medication and doctors appointments ... I thought I would just get married and have 8 kids. I know the Lord will grant us children - whether they are biologically ours or we adopt. We may be on the tip of getting pregnant or months away from adoption.

Sometimes I'm fine with all this, sometimes I really try to look at how I have to rely on the Lord and what good he's bringing out of this. I try to find the silver lining. And then there are days like today where I just want to give up, pout and cry. And so it leads me to the "having it out with God part."

I got frustrated on my commute this morning. Being nice and emotional I thought you know what God - I'm gonna give you a piece of my mind. (Please pray I drop this disrespectful attitude) And so I told Him I'd had it. I'm sick of waiting - I don't want to do anything, I just want to get pregnant and it's about time you fixed this. WHEW. I just didn't know where to go from there - how to take that next step with God....

Then I checked the mail. St. Padre Pio is my husband's favorite Saint - we got engaged on His feast day. In fact just last night we were telling our Confirmation students about novenas and Phil reminded me that he got what he asked for when he did the novena before he proposed - he said I got you. And so today in the mail I got an envelope from the Capuchin Franciscan Friars of New Jersey. I have no idea how they got my address. Inside was a prayer card with Padre Pio on the front. St. Pio is quoted on the card as saying "I want to be any a poor Friar who prays... Pray, hope and don't worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear our prayer... Prayer is the best weapon we have; it is the key to God's heart. You must speak to Jesus not only with your lips but with your heart. In fact on certain occasions you should speak to Him with only your heart." So Lord, what you're saying is Worry is useless. RIGHT! And then on the inside of the card is the Efficacious Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. (My husband and I did our first Novena to the Sacred Heart and got married the day after that feast day.) The card says the novena was recited everyday by Padre Pio for all who asked for his prayers. There is also a prayer for St. Padre Pio's intercession.

And so I'll just conclude my thoughts with this... I had it out with Him today and He sent me a novena in the mail. Off I go to start my novena. I'll let you know the updates ...

Think Pink?

Every October I always feel very conflicted about the Breast Cancer Awareness campaign.  On one hand, cancer awareness and raising money for a cure is always important.  Nevertheless, one of the largest organizations that contributing to breast cancer research to the Susan B. Komen foundation, who also happens to be a large supporter of Planned Parenthood.  It is so frustrating that a group claiming to help women actually supports abortions and contraception.  Don't they realize that oral contraceptives are one of the leading causes related to breast cancer?

I found this article especially interesting a helpful, in providing a Catholic perspective about the subject.

Thank you Lord for the time I have been given.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon:

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope

where there is darkness, light

where there is sadness, joy

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Tenth Avenue North, Addison Road and Matt Maher

So last night my husband surprised me with tickets to see Matt Maher with 10th Ave North and Addison Road. It was a wonderful concert! I am a huge fan of Matt Maher so I was so excited when we got to Fresno State and Phil said "look there is Matt Maher." WHAT!!! I didn't even know they were in town. The Matt Maher band and Addison Road opened for Tenth Ave North. I don't really know Addison Road or Tenth Ave North, but I did recognize a few songs from listening to Christian Radio. The concert was just such a motivating event and a call to come from the dark to the light - the tour is called The Light Meets the Dark. If they come to your town go see them!!!! Each band lifts up the audience and strives to make a difference in their lives! Christian concerts are so interesting to me, because they have the live music element while they are geared at helping the audience praise the Lord. So check out their tour dates - http://tenthavenuenorth.com/tour. I think they said they were leaving So Cal, but they're headed to Oregon so keep your eye out America - don't miss this concert!

Making Every Penny Count

My husband and I use a household budget to keep track of what comes in financially, and especially of what comes out.  One area that we really struggle with month after month, is our grocery budget.  The causes for this constantly puzzles me.  Although I admit that I do pick up an impulse buy once in awhile, we waste very little food overall.  For a small family our size though, the numbers never seem to add up--  We are spending too much!  For this reason, we decided that it was time to take try some new techniques that will hopefully make our grocery shopping more gentle on the wallet.

The first thing we have tried for this month is to create a Monthly Meal Plan.  In the past I planned our weekday dinners for the week (weekends I just left up in the air since our routine varies).  About a week before October 1st however, I printed a calendar online and started filling in the days with dinners and making my shopping list.  I marked several days with "Leftovers" or "Take Out", and tried to consider our work schedules and any events we will be attending.  Next, we made an enormous grocery trip for all of the ingredients we would need during the month.  I still planned a weekly trip to the store to pick up any fresh produce needed, but mostly we stocked our freezer and our pantry, and bought as many bulk items as appropriate.  

We are exactly halfway through the month, and things are going very well.  The meal plan has been a blessing in many ways.  It has reduced the stress of last-minute "whats for dinner?", and has also forced me to make less trips to the grocery store (thus reducing impulse buys).  I am already planning on trying to choose meals according to items on sale next month, to try to save even more money.

The second technique that we are experimenting with is coupon-clipping.  We decided to subscribe to the Sunday newspaper, and have started gathering coupons for items that we are likely to purchase.  I also registered with a few products that I am loyal to (Pampers, Target), so that that they would send me coupons, or notify me about sales.  I did not grow up in a family that uses coupons, and part of me still has doubts that $.50 off here and 1$ off there will make a big different, but I am willing to give it a try.  I honestly hope to prove myself wrong!

I do not think that we will hit our budget goal exactly by the end of this month, but we are making improvements, and I think that with practice we will get there.  I thought that it would be fun to share this adventure with other young adults learning the ropes of family life, and also ask-- What do you do to stretch your dollar?  Any additional advice for young families?

Finding a Healthy Balance

I was recently listening to a friend of mine describe a diet that she was following.  You sign up with a company who provides you with all of your food and a meal plan to follow.  You cannot deviate from the meal plan at all-- but you also do not have to think or worry about what to eat, and what not to eat.  My friend was convinced that this was perfect for her, because she felt that she could not trust herself to make the right choices when it came to eating.

I think what surprised me the most was the rest of the women in the room's response to the idea of dieting.  The majority of the group seemed to speak about dieting as though it were necessary, and a part of everyday life.  These days there are hundreds and thousands of different diets out there, and hundreds of companies and books who make a profit in claiming to "help" you lose weight.  Have you ever found it ironic that as the diet industry grows, so does our waistlines?  More than ever, obesity is becoming a health issue in our country.  I realize that there are many many factors involved, but I can't help but wonder if "dieting" is part of the problem.

As a teenager, I spent some time controlling my weight with VERY restrictive eating.  I was able to sustain it for a few years, but eventually things started to spin out of control.  I was on a starvation/binge cycle-- feeling more out of control than ever.

I often still struggle with my relationship with food, but I can promise you that at this time in my life, I do not use any form of self-control when it comes to food.  I eat whatever I want, whenever I want.  If I were to be completely honest, I would tell you that I have dessert after every meal, and often in between as well.  I eat when I am hungry, and (most of the time) do not eat when I am not.  And I am not fat-- in fact, I have never felt better. 

By listening to my body's cues, I have been able to find a peaceful balance with food.  God gave us food as fuel, but also for pleasure!  There will be some days when I will eat a nutrient-dense salad, but there will be other days when I polish off an entire batch of brownies.  There will be some days when I walk 7 miles, and others when I don't walk much further than the distance from my living room to my kitchen.  There will be days when my skinny jeans will stay hung up in my closet, and days when I wear them comfortably.  And hopefully, if I listen to what my body needs, on most days I will fall somewhere in between.

I have no doubt that my friend will lose some weight if she follows the diet appropriately.  But what about afterward?  I am willing to bet that a diet like this will never help you to feel better about your body.  This is because most diets train its followers to ignore their bodies hunger cues.  If we aren't listening to our bodies, how will we learn to identify our body's cues when we are full from eating?  How will we know when our body needs food for energy, or perhaps a meal for comfort? 

Beauty is not defined by fitting into a certain size of jeans.  Beauty is about being the person who God made you to be.  We need to trust that by listening to our bodies, we will find a healthy balance.  And lastly, we should be praising Him that eating is enjoyable-- I can't imagine it any other way!

St. Vincent Pallotti Center!!!

St Vincent Pallotti Center recently released an annual volunteer directory. The Connections 2011 shows volunteers information about over 75 programs to volunteer with. There is also a directory online where you can search around and find the program that you would want to volunteer with the most! The purpose of the St. Vincent Pallotti Center is to “inspire volunteers during their exploration of service through Catholic-based organizations.”

Volunteering is a huge part of the calling of any Christian. We are called to serve. Jesus was a servant. Even before He died, he washed the feet of His apostles. Service is a calling that each one of us must embrace. Finding a few places to volunteer at, like the ones in the Connections 2011 released by the St Vincent Pallotti Center, especially at a young age, can lead into life-long service projects. Finding a few specific organizations that can rely on your help allows for these organizations to continue to grow and help those who are in need.

Whether you feel most comfortable helping children, women in crisis pregnancies, those who are poor, those in prison, marriages, or any other group of people who are in need, all organizations rely on those who generously give of their time or money or prayer to help them reach the ever increasing need of those around us.

I challenge you to find at least one organization, then volunteer for them. Start out with once a month if you need to. Then challenge yourself to increase that time every few months. I guarantee you will find that helping others will give you meaning in your life. And you will continue to look at your challenges in life, and still find that you can find help when you need it, and you will be there for others when they are trying to overcome their own challenges!

Go to www.pallotticenter.org , and find a organization that you can help, right now!

"It is here, my daughters, that love is to be found - not hidden away in corners but in the midst of occasions of sin. And believe me, although we may more often fail and commit small lapses, our gain will be incomparably the greater."

-St. Teresa of Avila

Mary's Mantle

Today I was carrying my newborn baby boy in my sling, while visiting with some local Carmelite sisters, when Mother Superior gave me some interesting information. She said that when we speak of Mary's mantle, people usually think of her veil, but in her days, they were actually referring to the fabric carrier that she used to tote baby Jesus around. So when we ask her to wrap her mantle around us, we are actually asking her to carry us as she did baby Jesus,close to her heart. This was the spot that calmed baby Jesus because babyslings/carriersrecreate the womb keeping babies snuggled close to their mother's warmth, her beating heart, and moving with her. No wonder we ask Mary to wrap her mantle around us!

I am a fan of "wearing" one's baby not just because it promotes bonding, but also because it just makes everyday life much easier. In Mary's day, they didn't have fancy strollers or car-seats. They just had mom, and for a baby, there's nothing better than that. So if you're a mom, consider wrapping your baby in your mantle to make them feel at peace (and I promise it will likely bring you more), and Mother Mary, please wrap your mantle around us, your children.

Angels

Today is the feast of the Holy Angels Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. These are three very powerful forces of prayer and guidance for us. Michael means the protector, pray to him when you are in danger in body or soul (especially soul). Gabriel means God's strength. Ask for his help when you need strength especially if you are doubting your faith. Raphael means the healer. He is a powerful source of prayer when we need any kind of healing (physical, spiritual, emotional, etc.) God is so good in that he sends his angels to serve us and protect us. Realize today that all around you are God's angels. You are never alone.

Adoption/Like Dandelion Dust

Taking in a child who needs a home and a family. What a beautiful thought.

I heard about a movie on Christian radio today - I don't know much about it other than they were promoting it and I watched the trailer. It looks like an interesting and sad film. If someone watches it, will you let us know...

http://www.likedandeliondust.com/'

"Pray, hope and don't worry."

Padre Pio, pray for us.

AMEN

Have you ever stopped to really think about what you mean when you say Amen? We say this simple word at the end of prayers, when we receive the Eucharist, or when we energetically agree with something but do we really know what we are saying? Most people probably think that Amen means something like "I believe" or "it is so." Really though the word Amen goes a lot deeper. Amen actually means to believe AND trust. Not only to trust but to trust fully. It is a trust that is complete. Think about that for a moment. When you say a prayer and end with amen, you are saying that you believe and trust. When the Eucharist is presented to you at Mass you say amen or I believe and trust. We are saying that we believe and trust that God will hear and answer our prayer and that we believe and trust that Jesus is really present in the Eucharist. Next time you say amen, don't let it just be a short passing word. Call to mind what you are really saying, that you believe and more importantly that you trust.
AMEN

Reel Love Challenge

Marriage is a wonderful vocation that I have been blessed enough to embark on. After getting married in November 2009, my life has changed a lot! Because I am young, my marriage is often questioned. Even though at times getting married young can be difficult, it also has been a great blessing. 

Through each difficult moment, I am not alone. I have my husband with me to get through any obstacle we come across. 

Luckily, I recently graduated from college, but before being married meant that I needed to work a lot as well as go to school. Even though this often made me tired, being married to my wonderful husband enabled me to know that it was all for a purpose greater than myself.

In my opinion, marriage is a life long commitment. My husband and I vowed on our wedding day to love each other, for richer or poorer, sickness or health, until death. This is something we take very seriously. We talked long and hard about these vows way before we were even engaged. Marriage is not something we just jumped into, it is something we hold in high esteem. Marriage represents a love so strong that it is life-giving. 

And as my husband and I have recently experienced, love is called to bring life. And that life we have created will have to be named. And as that life continues to grow in me, and our family continues to grow as our marriage continues, I cannot wait to find out all of the rest of life's ups and downs that we will go through together!

I always love to see film contests that allow college students and young adults to voice their opinion! I think it is important for everyone to become involved and get together to make such great projects!

I'm very excited to see a film contest like Reel Love Challenge because I think that life-long love is possible! Do you?

Check out this Commercial. (Click Here)

Then go visit their facebook page: ReelLoveChallenge

Mammogram Thursday!

Hello Ladies!
I know people see the word Mammogram and get scared, but I'm here to talk about having one! My mother had cancer when she was 40. I've recently learned that the new tradition in medicine is that if a immediate family member, like your mother or sister has had Breast Cancer, then you are to begin Mammograms at least 10 years before the age they were when the cancer was found. So I started mine this year, the day after my 30th birthday! They had an appointment on my birthday, but I thought maybe I'd skip that barrel of laughs. Anyway I arrived for my Mammogram and it went very smoothly. The facility was so nice, I caught up on some magazine reading and Food Network while waiting. The procedure is quick and easy. A little uncomfortable for a second, but when are x-rays ever comfortable?

My point: please check early, check often, and check always! Be one less with Breast Cancer! Don't be scared of the X-Ray!
God Bless!

Amazon Mom

Amazon started a brilliant new program called Amazon mom. You get 3 months of Amazon Prime for Free and for every qualifying $25 purchase you make in a baby store (which is pretty much everything) you earn an additional month of Amazon Prime. The best part is an additional 15% off subscribe and save for diapers and wipes which gives you a total of 30% off diapers!! For example, I use size 3s as backups for Gigi...normally on Amazon they cost $40 for a box of 204 size 3 Pampers. With the subscribe and save discount I signed up for delivery ever 6 months and my cost was $28. That's 13.7 cents a diaper (even cheaper than Kirkland...never saw that one coming) Anywho, baby food counts do, as well as baby soaps, potty learning supplies, wipes, etc. Enjoy!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/mom/signup/welcome

Guidance

In college a dance professor gave me a copy of this anonymous poem.  It has stuck with my, several years later.  As I was printing it out this afternoon for my own dance students, I thought that it was worthwhile to share it with you too.

GUIDANCE

When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing “dance” at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God’s will is a lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn’t flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.

It’s as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance. When I saw “G: I thought of God, followed by “u” and “i”. “God, “u” and “i” dance.” God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God’s blessings and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday.

May you abide in God as God abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.

"You changed my mourning into dancing…"
Ps 30:12

Psalm 95:7-8

For this is our God, whose people we are, God's well-tended flock. Oh, that today you would hear his voice. Do not harden your hearts

Identity

Every story in order to draw the listener or reader in, must have a good plot. We have all gone to a movie because it has big name actors or crazy effects only to find out that it has absolutely no story line and it is void of a real plot. Plot is to a story what identity is to an individual. Each person needs an identity. It is crucial to who we are. Where we find that identity is the challenge of today's culture. I work with teenagers as a morality teacher and I see more and more how much teenagers today are at a loss to really know who they are. They are searching for an identity, for their own story, and are turning to anything they can to try to establish one.

Take a trip back in time with me for a moment to reflect on how we got to be a culture of people struggling with identity. During the period of the enlightenment science and technology took off. Reason became the mantra of this period. People thought that everything could be solved through science. Pope Benedict XVI said of the Enlightenment "people believed they could regain paradise lost through science and technology. They moved their hope from Jesus to science." Deep inside us we long to get back to the the perfection that Adam and Eve experienced in the garden and in a way the enlightenment period thought they could get back there through science and technology. Society started seeing science as their savior instead of God. We lost a sense of the grand storymaker and with a loss of Him came a loss of the story itself. People then had to make up their own story.

Fast forward to the Baby Boomer generation. The baby boomers took this idea of creating your own story to an extreme. It was during this time that people started telling their kids "you can be anything you want to be." They lived during a time of great advancement and so they were dreaming big. They were giving them permission to write their own story. This might sound great and like something an "inspirational speaker" would say but in reality it isn't true. I couldn't be an NBA player. God just didn't make me a super tall, super athletic person. When we tell children that they basically make their own story and their own identity we are by default telling them that they have no identity until they create one themselves. Their worth then is self made. This is a terrible burden for someone to carry during their teenage years when their identity is most questioned. It is like sending them into a storm with no compass. The wind can push them any which way. Why is the generation after the baby boomers called generation X? Because they had no real identity. The generation after that is called generation Y, because well, that is what comes after X. Human beings need to know that they have an identity. That they have a story. Yes we are writing our own story through our life but we have the best co author possible, God himself. If we loose site of Him, the story becomes very confusing and tough to write. We don't need to make up our story or create our own identity. God has given us an identity as his child. Instead of telling kids they can be anything they want to be let's start giving them permission to be exactly who God made them to be!

College is...

I have a new article up on IIBloom!!! 

This article is dedicated to the AMAZING Class of 2010 and Professors from John Paul the Great Catholic University!!!!

College is...

Parental Rights

My mother in law forwarded me an eye opening article about parental rights. Did you know that if your child is 12 years old you have NO legal rights to view their medical records?? Yup, your 12 year old who is 100% dependent on you for food, clothing, shelter, and allowance has the legal right to hide their medical records from you and can even go to the doctor to the doctor to be prescribed birth control (not sure if a pharmacy can fulfill that prescription though if they are under 18...) Yet another piece of legislation brought to you by pro-abortion groups to chip away at our parental rights. Don't you just love California?

Here's the article.

Pray for Priests

I just found out yesterday that a Priest who I greatly admired has left his community and the Priesthood. This reminded me how much we need to pray for our Priests. The Devil hates them most because they bring us Jesus truly present in the Eucharist. We may often remember to pray for an increase in Priestly vocations but let us not forget to pray for those men who have already given their life to the Church has a Priest. Below is a prayer for Priest. Please keep in your prayers Fr. Xavier, Msgr Dale, and all Priests who have been led astray that they return to the their vocation like the Prodigal Son in scripture.

Prayer for Priests

Most gracious Heavenly Father,
We thank you for our faithful priests and bishops, whose spiritual fatherhood and example of fidelity, self-sacrifice, and devotion is so vital to the faith of your people.
May our spiritual fathers be guided by the examples of Saints Peter and Paul, all the Apostles and their saintly successors. Give them valiant faith in the face of confusion and conflict, hope in time of trouble and sorrow, and steadfast love for you, for their families, and for all your people throughout the world. May the light of your Truth shine through their lives and their good works.
Assist all spiritual fathers, that through your Grace they may steadily grow in holiness and in knowledge and understanding of your Truth. May they generously impart this knowledge to those who rely on them.
Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Z is for... Zeal

Zeal, according to St. Thomas, "(From delos, a derivative of deo 'to boil', to 'throb with heat'), is 'a necessary effect of love', being 'the vehement movement of one who loves to [secure] the object of his love' (vehemens motus amantis in rem amatam, St. Thomas, Summa Theol. I-II:28:4)." When used most properly to its design (as our life's purpose is to know and to love God), zeal is the burning in our hearts for the knowledge and love of God.

I was driving last week listening to Matt Maher's, "Everything You've Done," per my daughter's request for "songs for Jesus," in which he calls us to "Dance for the Lord." This is our favorite part of the song. When I am most joyful, I am dancing and singing as if no one is watching, so the idea of doing this for the Lord, as David did before the Ark of the Covenant, stirs the fire of love for God in my soul. Perhaps this is also attributed to the fact that my reversion to the faith happened within Life Teen youth ministry. The organization has undergone some attacks in recent years with Msgr. Dale sadly falling away from the Church, but has always stayed Eucharist centered and in line with Catholic teaching. I can't deny the fruits in my own life. In fact, this blog was created as an extension of that ministry as most of us bloggers met there.

Nowadays, my faith has matured as I've grown in formation, and I hope that my zeal grows as my knowledge of Christ does. I am inspired by the silence I find in adoration with gregorian chant at St. Michael's Abbey, and by the unchanged beauty of the Tridintine mass, as well as by spiritual reading, and big or small experiences in my life. As women, I think we are particularly prone to growth from experiences in our lives. We tend to reflect and ponder more than men. While my husband may be on fire for sharing the truth of Christ after reading a chapter of a C.S. Lewis book, my heart is more often stirred by a person I encounter who is in need of the love or truth of Christ, something I may witness during the day, or simply by listening to the lyrics of a beautiful song praising God.

Whatever it is that brings out your zeal for the Lord, pay attention to it. Make sure to keep that as part of your regular routine and prayer life. We have an entire book in the Bible of songs written for Christ, and these are now daily Catholic prayers in the Liturgy of the Hours. Just don't forget to reignite that flame in your heart which burns for God. That initial fire that was sparked by my initial Catholic formation, amidst lots of praise and worship and friendships that lead me closer to Christ, should only be furthered as I grow in formation and virtue. It is that zeal for Christ that brought St. Paul to continue writing while in prison, that gave so many saints the strength to praise the Lord, even as they were being martyred.

A great, short commentary on zeal can be found at New Advent Catholic Encyclopedia.

Y is for Your wife is Hot

While driving on the freeway a billboard caught my eye. "Your wife is hot." What?!

But it got me thinking. What adjectives are used to describe women? What do young girls strive to be? Sadly, I think "hot" is the most sought after status by teenage and young girls. Hot. What is hot? The closest definition I found in the dictionary was "lustful, amorous, or erotic" Girls, is that really all we want to be? Is that how we really want men to view us? How do you think they treat someone who's goal is to be lustful or erotic."

Instead I offer you a challenge: be BEAUTIFUL! You are created in the image and likeness of the Lord and your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit! be BEAUTIFUL! You were created that way!

Oh, and the billboard turned out to be unfinished. Next time I drove by it said "Your wife is hot." Call such and such air conditioning company.

X is for the Cross

I was told once by a priest that the Church does not approve of pictures where Mary is not standing at the foot of the cross. She is not supposed to be swooning or lying crying on the floor, but standing - grieving and loving her Son.

I thought this was beautiful, the Church holding Mary in such high respect that she does not want people to see Mary as weak. And I think it tells us something about the Church's stance towards women in general. They are not weak humans who need to be shielded for all pain, but strong and loving who give their love and strength to others - there when many others are too scared to be.

X is for eXercise

I find that when I exercise I feel a lot better physically, mentally, and spiritually. God made us with a body and a spirit and we need to take care of both. Most important of course is the spirit but we should never neglect the importance of the body because it is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Women can become obsessive about exercise, usually due to vanity, so it is important to have balance. Still though, don't let life keep you from taking care of your body. Dr. Laura often tells her callers who are struggling with feeling down or depressed to start eating well and exercising to help them feel better. I hear her give this advice a lot to mothers who say they are struggling with the challenges of motherhood. It is easy to cut exercise out because we are short on time and don't see it as necessary. I think we need to start seeing it as necessary though because as regards our health is really is a necessity. I have heard that 30 minutes a day 3-4 times a week is sufficient to keep us healthy. This week I start school both as a teacher and as a graduate student. I am going to try to commit to exercising at least 30 minutes 3 days a week this school year. I will likely be tempted to cut it out when I am busy but in the long run I know that exercising will be better for me both physically and mentally.

A Movie Recommendation

I just watched The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio. I've seen it before and enjoyed it, which is why I rented it from the library. It's a great story about a strong woman who uses her writing talents to make ends meet for her big family. She is positive and persistent through the whole film and a great image of a "proper" woman. Plus her 1940's/1950's dresses are fun to see! It was made in 2004 so check the library and NetFlix! "She raised her kids on 25 words or less!"

W is for Work and Witness

Wow, did I wake up exhausted this morning!  I just finished coaching a high school dance team through their "work week", as they prepare for school to start.  This meant that my typical two-hour workday grew to almost a full-day of time clocked-in.  Sixteen months ago I would not have batted an eyelash at the concept, but adding motherhood to the equation brings it to an entirely new level.  To the working moms out there, I don't know how you do it!

I have felt specifically called to part-time work.  Although my employment started out as a financial necessity, it has turned into something much more than an extra paycheck.  Through teaching dance, I have found an creative outlet to share my love of the art and fitness, without sacrificing my primary duties of marriage and motherhood.  In some ways, I feel as though spending those hours each week away from my home rejuvenates me, brings me joy, and helps motivate me to always give my vocation my all.  I have spent many hours listening to music or working on choreography while doing laundry or housekeeping-- thus bringing enjoyment to some of my less exciting responsibilities.

More than this, I have also discovered my ability to use my talents to witness to those people around me.  In some environments that many not be the most naturally Christian, I have the opportunity to spread the love of Jesus.  This can be through love and support, mentorships with younger girls, and the example I pray to lead in the way I live my life.  In addition, by sharing my knowledge of dance, I truly believe that I can provide a healthy outlet and passion to the lives of many young people.

I recently came across an excerpt from John Paul II's "On the Dignity of Women" that struck a chord with me:

"The hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of women is being acknowledged in its fullness, the hour in which women acquire in the world an influence, an effect, and a power never hitherto achieved.  That is why, at this moment when the human race is undergoing so deep a transformation, women imbued with a spirit of the Gospel can do so much to aid humanity in not falling."

This quote truly illustrates our situation and calling as women of God in our present day!  Andi described in her recent post the many hats that mothers wear.  Similarly, many women are being called to share their talents and gifts in the workplace.  God calls us where he needs us, and there is no doubt that He needs strong women in working environments as well.

My marriage and family is always my first priority, above work.  I am the only wife my husband has, and the only mother my toddler has.  At this time I have been called to full-time motherhood, my mom was "at-home", and honestly, I totally get it.  There is nothing wrong in simply being a wife or mother.  In fact, it is beautiful! 

At the same time, I do not believe that this means that a moms cannot aspire to a career, hobby, education or that "something more".  I have met women who work full-time from home, have their own business, or who balance family responsibilities between both parents.  Many moms take their "free time" to volunteer in the community, take on-line classes, or start creative projects at home, like scrapbooking, photography or sewing.  Like JPII stated, by acknowledging our vocation to its fullness, we as women will be able to change the world, whether it is in our home, or outside in a larger community.

W is for Wedding Gowns

I got my wedding gown ten days after I got engaged to my husband. I was home in Canada for Christmas and on a whim, my mother and sisters and I went to a small bridal shop in a small town called Elmira, Ontario (about ten minutes from where Mom lives) "just to take a look".

My perception of what my wedding gown was going to look like definitely changed over the years. I remember being really young and wanting something similar to my First Communion dress, which was a simple, cotton "little girl" dress along with thick, white tights and white shoes. Throughout my youth, teenage years and early twenties, that design changed often and I wondered with anticipation what it'd actually end up looking like.

When I was in the bridal shop, it was a wonderful experience. The seamstress went above and beyond to help me find something that I'd like, even if I didn't end up buying that day. It was so special to be able to share the browsing with my mother and sisters - especially since that now we all live so far away from each other; we were able to be together for what would be the most beautiful day of my life. They knew my taste and they helped me pick about five or six gowns to try on.

The first dress was... okay. It didn't really fit me well and I didn't like it on me that much. The second dress was awful. It was such a gorgeous gown but ended up looking like a big box on me. I remember being in the dressing room a little sad after that, wondering if I'd ever try on something that I'd end up liking. Where was I going to find my dress?

I put the third gown on and walked out. I lifted the skirt carefully so as not to trip over it when I climbed up on to the platform in front of the mirrors. My mother had a huge smile on my face and my sisters nodded in approval. It was a lacy, off-white, A-line gown that had a beautiful champagne ribbon under the bust with a bow. There was another bow at the back of the gown, near where my knees were to give it a slight mermaid feel. It was perfect.

Of course, it needed to be altered significantly. It didn't fit me perfectly, but I'm not sure many wedding gowns initially do. I wasn't a fan of the spaghetti straps on the gown - I asked for cap sleeves instead, knowing that my future husband wasn't a fan of strapless. My final fitting was the following July, when I went back to Canada for a friend's wedding. It fit perfectly, the cap sleeves ended up looking fabulous and I was overjoyed to finally put on the gown that I'd been dreaming about my entire life for my special day.

(Oh, and my veil? I made it myself, using tulle and some fantastic lace I found downtown Los Angeles. Turns out that mantillas are super easy to make - and absolutely gorgeous!)

V for Value

The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.
Mother Teresa

Ladies - Let's practice the loving - no matter the cost or result!

U is for Understanding

We often hear the saying "seek to understand before seeking to be understood." I think women have an innate ability to understand others. Maybe it is because we are made to be mother and will have to understand our children, but we have an ability to understand where someone is coming from or empathize with them. I think it is one of our great gifts at women. When we seek to understand someone we make them feel loved, accepted, and cared for. This is especially important when we are talking about matters of faith and helping to lead someone to conversion. Sometimes we can get so caught up in what we want to change about the person that we forget to first understand who they are and where they are coming from. We sometimes forget to just love them and that in that love God will bring conversion. Father Dave Pivonka, T.O.R. describes an experience like this in his book "Hiking the Camino." Father Pivonka walked the 500 miles of the Camino de Santiago in Spain in thanksgiving for the gift of his priesthood. Along the way he met a woman named Mara. Mara had a lot of pain in her life and was in need of conversion. Father Dave writes of his time with her:

"My time with Mara made it clear to me that I was not supposed to try to convince her of something or of some way of believing. Sometimes I think that, rather than really trying to know another person, especially one very different from myself, I can't get past my agenda of what I want to happen. I want the person to change so badly that I fail to recognize the beauty of the person. Jesus didn't treat people like this. Throughout my entire time with Mara, I felt God asking me to walk with her and be present to her. In the end God was calling me to love."

We need to speak the truth and seek to bring others to conversion but we should never forget to first love and try to understand them.

T is for Tangentially Appropriate

I have said that God is pleased with nothing but love; but before I explain this, it will be as well to set forth the grounds on which the assertion rests. All our works, and all our labours, how grand soever they may be, are nothing in the sight of God, for we can give Him nothing, neither can we by them fulfill His desire, which is the growth of our soul. As to Himself He desires nothing of this, for He has need of nothing, and so, if He is pleased with anything it is with the growth of the soul; and as there is no way in which the soul can grow but in becoming in a manner equal to Him, for this reason only is He pleased with our love. It is the property of love to place him who loves on an equality with the object of his love. Hence the soul, because of its perfect love, is called the bride of the Son of God, which signifies equality with Him. In this equality and friendship all things are common, as the Bridegroom Himself said to His disciples: I have called you friends, because all things, whatsoever I have heard of my Father, I have made known to you.

-St. John of the Cross

T is for...Teaching

In America today, 3 out of 4 K-12 teachers, is female. Think about your favorite teacher growing up. What qualities made them so great? My favorite teacher was my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Sipe. I still remember vividly. It was my first year at a new school after moving across the country for the 2nd time in 3 years. What I remember most, is her warmth, and the emphasis that she put on good behavior in the classroom. She was so genuinely sweet herself, yet not afraid to discipline, that created a class full of children from all different backgrounds, who for the most part, interacted charitably and peacefully.

Even the statistics show that women are more drawn to the profession of teaching, and seem to excel in it more than men. I can't put my finger on just one quality that makes women naturally such good teachers, but I would love to hear your thoughts (especially since several of our bloggers who don't yet have children of their own, and even one who does, are feeding those of others as teachers).

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that, "Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery - the preconditions of all true freedom. Parents should teach their children to subordinate the "material and instinctual dimensions to interior and spiritual ones."³¹ Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children. By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them." (CCC 2223)

For those of us who are mothers, it is quite clear that we are the primary educators of our children, as for most of us, we are the primary caregivers. Some of us may choose to homeschool, which makes us our child's teacher, on a whole other level.

Clearly, the Lord calls many women, no matter what their vocation or state in life, to be teachers. What is it about us that makes us particularly fit for educating? Is it patience, nurturing, compassion, listening skills, or is this something that is built into our physical and spiritual makeup?

S is for Service

"Love cannot remain by itself -- it has no meaning.
      Love has to be put into action, and that action is service." - Mother Teresa


There is no way that one can serve with out love, and as Mother Teresa says, the action of love is service. Because love is selfless, it only seeks to help others. When you serve others, you give your life meaning. Your actions become more than just actions. They become part of a story, a legacy, a way of life. 
There is much more to service than just helping others, because if you are only helping others but do not have love, then it is only an action. With love, it becomes more than that. Love in action is a way of life. Giving of one's self, without holding back can be difficult, but well worth it! You never know which act of service turns someone's life around. Or gives them hope when they needed.




Love. Action. Service. Always.

S is for Sick

When you're sick (or your kids are sick) who do you want? MOM! I never truly understood this phenomenon until I became a mother. Whenever E has a cough or teething pain she gets unusually clingy and that's how I figure out that something is bothering her. There must just be something about the gentleness of a mom's touch or her comforting embrace that makes her kids run to her for comfort. What a neat gift from God. :)

S is for Silence

"We need to find God, and God cannot be found in noise and restlessness.  God is the friend of silence.  See how nature- trees and flowers and grass- grow in silence.  See the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence.  The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life."

-Blessed Mother Teresa

R is for Receptivity

A lot of people talk and experience how women are particularly good at giving. we give support to our girlfriends and family members, when a child is hurt they most often go to their moms, etc.

But also I think that it is very important for women to be good receivers. While giving might come more naturally, "What's the problem? Here - do this, or have this" I think that a large part of true femininity is to simply receive. To sit and listen to the problem or complain. To take in the information or emotion that the other person is trying to convey.

Growing up in a family of talkers, I often chose to stay quiet when I was little and so learned to listen. When I was a teenager, I was in a full-production Passion Play for about 5 consecutive years and I remember especially the male actors talking to me for hours and hours while we were waiting for our scene. They told me about acting, their lives, and even one about how aliens *must* have built the pyramids. And being used to being quiet (and finding it quite interesting) I would just actively listen. "Mm-hum? Oh? Really? Why's that?"

But I've been realizing that I've lost that gift to some extent. Virtue is described as a good habit, and I think that I got out of the habit of listening in college. You see, I went to a college where every class is seminar style, so most of your grade depended on what and how much you spoke. While I'm glad I went, and while I think this was a great way to learn, I found myself focusing on what I was going to say next rather than what was currently being said by another classmate.

Sure, I got better after 4 years at the back and forth of class conversation, but this new habit replaced the old - and not always for the better. I'm not saying that women should be seen and not heard, but I do think that women have a particular receptive quality that once made a habit is a great feminine virtue.

I think this quality is shown in the bible when Mary is "pondering in her heart." Now I just have to figure out how to relearn this. Ideas, anyone?